Fact of the Week

September 6, 2010
Wreck-less Love
Hollywood has convinced us that a spouse is supposed to make us happy without requiring much of us. According to Dr. Scott Haltzman at Brown University, this is completely unrealistic. People often view their marriages as failing when, in all probability, they are quite normal. It's not that marriage is a terrible lifelong prison, but it also isn't magically happy without a modest bit work. The greatest gift you can give your partner is to listen without passing judgment. Start on a path to a better marriage by being a patient and considerate listener. Don't try to push your ideas on your spouse, but first, try to understand where they are coming from.  Read More.

August 30, 2010
The Best "W" in Your Win Column
Earlier studies have shown that "we-ness" versus "me-ness" is a strong indicator of how happy younger couples are. This new study out of the University of California (Berkley) shows how the pronoun/identity factor plays out over time as couples either team up or become polarized over disagreements. Researchers found that couples who use words such as we, us, and our in their conversations are able to handle conflict better with less physical stress than other couples.  Read More.

August 23, 2010
Not Just Book Smarts
Based on several data sets and surveys on men and women, researchers found that college-educated women are more likely to be married at age 40 than women without a college education. These women are also more likely to say they are happy in their marriages. This may be because both college-educated men and women are not likely to see marriage as a source of financial stability, but rather an experience of personal fulfillment. Thus, their approach to marriage seems to increase the likelihood that they will stay with the same partner.  Read More.

August 16, 2010
Reading, Writing, and Relationships
A new sex education guide, drafted by teachers, religious groups, health charities, parents and children, emphasizes the challenges and responsibilities of parenthood. It also highlights the importance of marriage and strong, stable relationships when raising children. The UK children's secretary, Ed Balls, states "We want to give young people the facts, so that they can stay safe and healthy. We also want young people to understand the importance of marriage and other stable relationships - these are the bedrock of family life, the best way to bring up children, and the kind of relationships we want young people to develop as they get older."  Read More.

August 9, 2010
Walking the Aisle to a Better Life
The reason politicians are not just entitled, but obliged, to take an interest in marriage is because of the compelling evidence that marriage makes a practical difference in society.  The statistics are pretty overwhelming in showing that marriage acts as a check on family breakdown and that family breakdown boosts the likelihood of an array of problems. Children with married parents do better, overall, in comparison to those raised in single-headed households, but also better than children with co-habiting parents.  Read More.

August 2, 2010
Marriage Does Matter
According to a recent study, new parents' marital status is the number one predictor of whether or not they will stay together. It doesn't matter how rich or well educated they are, cohabiting parents are at least twice as likely to split up as married parents of similar income or education. The author of this study, Harry Benson, found that of the 60 percent of families that remain intact until their children are 15, 97 percent are married.  Read More.

July 26, 2010
Increase in "Green" Disputes
While no study has documented how frequent these clashes have become, therapists agree that the green issue can quickly become poisonous because it is so morally charged. Friends or family members who are not devoted to the environmental cause can become irritated by life choices they view as ostentatiously self-denying or politically correct. Those with a heightened focus on environmental issues, on the other hand, can find it hard to refrain from commenting on things that they view as harmful to Earth - driving an oversize S.U.V., for example.  Read More.

July 19, 2010
Whole Grains are Good, But a Happy Marriage May Be Better
A happy marriage can reduce heart disease risk in ways not previously understood. This research showed that couples that were more hostile to each other had more calcification in the arteries that provide blood flow to the heart, even without any physical risk factors for cardiovascular disease. It appears that hostile marriages seem to increase the chances of developing atherosclerosis that can lead to heart disease and heart attack.  Read More.

July 12, 2010
Divorce Really Hurts
New data collected from nearly 9000 participants between ages 51 and 61 at University of Chicago shows that divorce and widowhood have a long-lasting negative impact on health. The research also indicates that even re-marriage doesn't restore good health.  Read More.

July 6, 2010
Forget Me Not
Researchers studied the changes among a group of 1400 people from Finland-starting from when they were all aged 50, then again 20 years later. They found that the individuals with the greatest risk for Alzheimer's disease were those who were widowed or divorced at midlife and remained so. The authors suggest that having a partner might provide additional mental and social challenges that seem to stimulate the brain and delay the onset of dementia.  Read More.

June 28, 2010
Two are Stronger than One
Researchers from Indiana University analyzed data on 3.8 million people diagnosed with cancer between 1973 and 2004. This study looked at 5 and 10-year survival rates for the following groups: married, widowed, divorced, never-married, and those going through a separation at the time of diagnosis. Married people, more than any other relationship status, have the highest likelihood of survival when fighting cancer. According to this research, love and support of a partner is essential in battling against illness.  Read More.

June 21, 2010
The Blitzkrieg for Military Couples
According to a study from the University of North Carolina, ongoing efforts to strengthen military families do work but more preventative programs are needed to help couples address problems before they become unmanageable. Wives of active-duty soldiers are at risk for psychological problems such as depression, loneliness and burnout; however, spouses are more likely to handle stress well if they are encouraged to build stronger relationships with their friends and communities, and can potentially lower their long-term medical costs if they receive military support services. Moreover, risks for psychological troubles are almost cut in half when spouses receive services such as relationship skills training, which teaches improved communication and financial management.  Read More.

June 14, 2010
Married Parents are Best
The Demos researchers say children living with both biological parents are twice as likely to develop the most useful character traits as those living with lone parents or a step-parent. Application, self-regulation, and empathy are the three most important traits for a child's chances of improving their economic lot. Children of parents who promote these traits were likely to develop positive characteristics. The children of married parents are twice as likely as those from single parents to have the most important characteristics for success.  Read More.

June 7, 2010
Married Employees are Happy Employees
According to the General Social Surveys (GSS), 85.9 % of married, previously-divorced adults are proud of the type of work they do, followed by 84.4 percent of always-intact married adults. There is, however, a significant gap between these two groups and single adults. Of the latter, 74 % of divorced or separated single adults and 65.8 % of never-married single adults are proud of the type of work they do. This research indicates that married adults are more likely to be proud of the type of work they do, compared to single adults, whether divorced, separated, or never married.  Read More.

June 1, 2010
The Magic Bullet for Your Marriage
The team of U.S. and Norwegian researchers studied 205 randomly selected couples from southern Norway for two years. The couples showed problems typical of struggling relationships. Half of the couples in the study used the client feedback system, while the other half did not. Couples using the client-based feedback reported feeling more satisfied in their relationships. After six months, divorce rate is almost two times less with only 18.4 % in couples on client based feedback vs 34.2 % in couples who didn't have client-based feedback incorporated into their sessions. The most important element for successful therapy is client engagement. This method gave the client a sense of ownership in their healing process and less dependency on therapists. According to the research, when clients believe they -- not the therapist -- are responsible for change, results are better and last longer.  Read More.

May 24, 2010
Pinch Pennies, Not Each Other
According to a survey by TD Ameritrade, 63% of Americans plan to improve their personal finances in 2010. As a result, Money HabitudesTM have taken steps to make a new life in control of finances possible. What is the first step? Examine your attitudes and habits in your money life. Do you spend impulsively and buy things that you don't need? Take time to reflect on how you go about spending and talk about it.  Read More.

May 17, 2010
Feeling Touched
Researchers suggest that often times a touch can express more quickly and accurately a larger range of emotions than gestures and words. One study from the Touch Research Institute in Miami found that a massage from a loved one can not only ease pain but also soothe depression and strengthen a relationship. Researchers at Harvard conducted a study that found couples who touched more while discussing difficult topics report more satisfaction in their relationships.  Read More.

May 10, 2010
Not Just Book Smarts
Based on several data sets and surveys on men and women, researchers found that college-educated women are more likely to be married at age 40 than women without a college education. These women are also more likely to say they are happy in their marriages. This may be because both college-educated men and women are not likely to see marriage as a source of financial stability, but rather an experience of personal fulfillment. Thus, their approach to marriage seems to increase the likelihood that they will stay with the same partner.  Read More  or Read the Research.

May 3, 2010
The Financial Trifecta
Charlie Michaels and Mike Brown, authors of "Mastering Marriage," suggest that couples need to agree on the following three issues: 1) spending philosophy-what merits a credit card or is "cash only;" 2) Long term financial goals-spouses need to be on the same page about where their financial future is headed; and 3) spending priorities-determining what comes first. Couples who can come to a consensus on these three issues are well on their way.  Read More.