In seeking the elusive answer, researchers at the University of Washington in Seattle have consulted the experts: couples in fabulously high-functioning, happy marriages. The field research has included narrative-type interviewing with newlyweds and long-married couples; engaging in “Candid Camera”-type antics, such as filming a couple in a raging fight; and inviting couples for a videotaped stay at the “Love Lab”, where they hang out in a studio apartment and do whatever they please over the course of 24 hours.

What researchers have gleaned is that couples with the most successful unions are experts at repairing the marital bond when someone commits a blunder. These couples use everyday moments to reconnect with one another, said John Gottman, a University of Washington psychologist who runs the lab, trains clinicians and conducts couples workshops. (Author abstract)

Note: This article was originally published in the Los Angeles Times on April 3, 2000.