Group Size: Any
Time Needed: 10 to 20 minutes
Goal: Help participants understand attachment, bonding and how it occurs
Audience: Couples, Parents, Teens, Children, Singles
Special Considerations: Very powerful, could bring up painful memories. Do not use this activity in your class unless you have had formal training in counseling or a similar field.
Resources Needed: Two different colored strips of construction paper per participant, cut 1” wide, same length
Step-by-Step Instructions
- Tell your group how some people become very important to you because of all of the life experiences you share together, both good and bad. Explain to participants that this exercise will focus on attachment or bonding and how it occurs between people. Ask participants to think of someone they feel "attached" to, meaning they would feel a great loss if this person were no longer in their lives. Next, ask them to think of some good and bad times they have experienced with that person that they would feel comfortable sharing with the class.
- Have participants hold strips perpendicular to each. This will form a 90 degree angle and almost look like an "L."
- As each partner shares with the other an experience, he or she will fold one strip of paper around the other. They can start with either strip and wrap it in any direction. For the rest of the folding alternate the strips, but always fold in the same direction (if they start by folding away from themselves, always fold away).
- If the group is not too large, have each person share one positive bonding experience. Remind them that this can be a bonding experience with a child, a spouse, a sibling, a parent, or even a friend.
- At the end the two strips of paper will be woven together.
Tips for Discussion and Processing
The main point of this exercise is to help participants realize that shared experiences, both bad and good, are what connects people. This activity is best led by a facilitator with clinical training. This activity is about understanding that overcoming challenges in relationships is a natural and healthy part of life. If there are parents in the group, you can also use it to talk about attachment and letting go. After papers have been woven together, gently pull them apart. You can then explain to participants that this is very symbolic of the relationship between parent and child. Explain that parents’ and children’s lives are very interconnected for a few years, but eventually children must separate. However, even though their lives are not as “connected,” both have left an impression on each other (the indentations on the strips).
Note: These activities can be modified to reflect a variety of skills.