Group Size: 11 to 50
Time Needed: 10 to 30 minutes, depending on size of group
Goal: To develop group cohesion and bonding
Audience: Couples, Parents, Teens, Children, Singles
Special Considerations: If people have painful childhood memories this activity may cause old wounds to resurface. Encourage participants to demonstrate utmost sensitivity and empathy towards each other.
Resources Needed: None
Step-by-Step Instructions
- Take a few minutes to explain to the group what birth order means (the order in which you were born in to your family). For example, were you an only child, an oldest child, a youngest child, or somewhere in the middle?
- Tell the group that some people believe the order in which you were born in to your family can have an impact on your adult personality. Inform the group that you will take a few minutes to see if this holds true for all of you.
- Ask participants tomove to designated spots around the room based on where they were born into their family. For example, all of the participants who were only children will be in one group, all the participants who were oldest children will be in another group and so forth. Facilitators should walk around the room and check on the groups.
- You will likely have a few participants that will need clarification. For example, someone will usually ask something like, “What if I was the oldest until my mom remarried and then my step-sister was older than me?” Gently remind the participant that this is just for fun and he or she can decide which group they fit into best.
- Explain that the small groups will have 10 minutes to discuss what it is like being born in that order. Encourage them to find common characteristics. For example, do firstborns tend to be leaders?
- When time is up, have each smaller group share what they discussed with the larger group.
Tips for Discussion and Processing
This activity encourages group members to identify with each other. Even people who seem extremely different will find a way to connect. This often leads to some interesting discussions on what it was like for people growing up in their family of origin. Especially for couples, it can add a great deal of insight in to why partners behave the way they do. Sometimes it is fun to have a handout summarizing birth order stereotypes so you can compare/contrast during your discussion.
Note: These activities can be modified to reflect a variety of skills.