Whether they realize it or not, couples get married for two reasons. First, they intuitively recognize a similarity of beliefs about how the world ought to be. This core values match is usually unconscious and unacknowledged, and yet has the potential to underpin a great relationship. They also get together because they recognize a wounded soul mate–an identical pairing up of emotional and psychological familiars that lead them to reproduce painful, but predictable feelings from their past.

Though this book will almost certainly shatter some of your preconceived notions, it has at its heart a deeply inspiring message: when you and your partner commit to healing old wounds and strive for personal growth, you will greatly expand your capacity for intimacy. And that’s the key to unlocking the joy of love in the present tense. (Author abstract)